Maybe you are just stumbling on this page. Are you curious? What brought you here? This matters to me! Maybe you like my look, vibe, photos, art, what you may have imagined I am like. Do we have a special connection from experience? Do we share perspectives? Are we able to educate each other and show support?

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People have said they are interested in knowing me. I ask myself, which "me" are they speaking of? Do they truly want to know the modified girl in the photos? Why does she look like that? What kind of a person is she? Did something happen to her? How can she expose herself like this? There are so many questions I have been asked. It’s hard to want to answer, some of the reasons are lodged in my guts and it can be catastrophic to my psyche to think of those things – just any old time.

My life has not been one of love, ease or generosity. Coming out of the abuse has changed my entire being. I have been changing so rapidly I cannot keep up with myself. Fast forward evolution... a personal reality bomb! I could only imagine how perplexing or intriguing this could be to an onlooker. I am not a therapist, life coach or mentor. I am merely a creature formed by my environment. I have an inordinate understanding of hardship, struggling to find a healthy way forward. I am asked daily, “how do you do it?” I literally have to read about it to answer that because I truly cannot say “how”, only that I just juggernaut through as hard as I can.

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Through this journey of healing and self-discovery I have been keeping everything documented in my journal here! I feel like a coping blog has turned into a long-term personal psych experiment! Prior to starting this page, I was in belief that I did not know my identity; through the commitment to journaling and keeping life records I am learning a lot about my physical and mental health. I found a way to feel productive for my family while dealing with an odd set of disabilities, this is a goal I’ve set and accomplished with this page. Adaptation of old hobbies/coping skills to new modification of my life and physical being - check. Learning self-appreciation and how to embrace my whole self - check. I felt my past influences had watered me down and even caused me to be an unauthentic version of myself. It was a fact! I have found the core I needed to see – fully exposed.

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I wanted the truth and I got it!​

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I wanted to know ME and feel true happiness as well as security attained/designed by me - not swayed by others! I had concluded that baring my old self to the world is part of this. *I was right! Starting this blog was a great decision. I feel it is helping in a unique way. I feel very good about it, and I have gotten some great feedback.

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I originally said, “This site is a eulogy to who I was and a tribute to who I am becoming, evolving with me as I explore.”, I feel this still rings true! I wanted to “euthanize my victimization”. I know now that it is not shameful or demeaning to admit that I was victimized. I am learning a lot! I’m feeling better because of it!

Do you want to know more? I do, I am forever evolving! Come check it out, start a conversation. I am elated you're here. 

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Welcome to my world. 

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