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Blog so scattered I had to change the title lol


🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤


FYI - this post is more all over the place than usual - lol my gods it’s a mess .. I’m going to try to reorder it.. I’m a fucking shit show today! More than usual

lol I love this pic👆🏻Oooh & this one too👇🏻

If y’all have noticed I have a hard time hiding my true emotions… I can push them away for a bit and smile in self defense, but I always end up setting people straight.


I CAN act convincingly ok/happy.. for years people were fooled by what I truly felt, what was happening in private was completely different. 🤔 if I let on I was in trouble. This was my whole life!


All 40 years the vast majority of people have told me to keep quiet. what happens behind closed doors, within relationships, everything.. just everything was private!

Don’t talk about how you really feel to others or it’s a betrayal! Lol its like build a bear - except it’s “build a victim”! 🤬


I do not keep quiet anymore about things. I don’t feel like it’s safe to put it all out there unless you know to question every single thing that comes after. That’s what I do now.


If someone is acting out if turn and I’m confused. I ask a few random others from very different perspective points to help me see it their way.. I can usually form my own hypothesis and be like ok.. I see now! Once you’ve been force fed enough shit you become alert to the smell! Or desensitization happens! I think I have experienced both on extreme levels.

I like this is one too! I’m really liking all my color lights!!

🍆🐿I woke up too hot 🥵 - I was sweating. I guess I got cold and turned off my air cooler in the night! Woke up to this ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

🤭🤭🤭

👇🏻🤔 ok..

I have learned we have no real privacy and it’s actually better if you put your truth in the open! People need healthy doses of reality!

😈- seems most of my friends who are my age or older have distanced themselves more since I have taken up photography.. it got to where I was losing ”friends“ because my photos made me happy.. not what they were expecting I guess, some have said it’s jealousy.. idk why- my actual friends know about my illnesses bringing limitations and the mental health in the whole household is a healing vibe- why can’t I learn to be happy.. even if it’s turning myself into art through photos!? I want to feel good about me. This is how a recluse in my situation does it. I’m not hurting anyone.. yet I get dropped as a friend and respect is lost on both ends.

I do not see anything wrong with photos like this! I feel like I am able to use the “acting” I’ve learned my whole life and form myself into a character to photograph. Sometimes I’m playing a part of me and other times I just feel whatever way and go with it!

🤣🤣🤣


ok- I started to talk about so many subjects i had to redo this whole thing and it’s still a mess lol 🤣🤭 enjoy




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Yup and as you know by now with me you won't need your lish but I will play along with you for the fun of it keeping your fun meter on high ❣️

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damonsleroy75
damonsleroy75
Jul 05, 2022

You always make total sense! Your an artist and photography is one of the ways you express yourself.

Most people don't feel comfortable, expressing themselves and are uncomfortable around people that do. 🤔 😘

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Heather Clark
Heather Clark
Jul 05, 2022
Replying to

Thank you!! I’m finding through writing I am misinterpreted verbally quite often and I don’t know why. You guys get what I’m saying all the time and I write like I speak - at least I think I do

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Well of course you know by now I deeply appreciate you and everything you do, I feel the same ways you do about pictures like and whoever gets jellous with you doing what keeps you happy they are the ones with the problem, way I see it is you of course know what you are doing, you know what we're seeing and you know when some are too dangerous to get close with and yup you're not hurting anyone so why hide it and of course once you have gotten close with someone you will always share more personal information with them just like I have 😉

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Replying to

You are definitely always welcome 😊 loyola people suchlike yourself that honestly understandable are the best ones in life because they are the very ones that helps you feel like you are 100% all the time 💟

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Well we all appreciate you and the art that is your photography. There is NOTHING wrong with them and it truly is art! PS I love the top photo as well! You need to be you, and if what you are is art, then art you shall remain.

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Heather Clark
Heather Clark
Jul 04, 2022
Replying to

Well thank you for helping me be able to make these !! 🖤🖤🖤 seriously I’m loving these! I actually got so excited I took over 400 photos in a few hours! Lol more than half of them were so grainy they were shit! I need to adjust my camera.. something changed in my settings when the lights get crazy! I do use a lot of lights.. maybe that’s my issue! I’m going to look it up before next shoot! 🤓🖤😈 I cannot wait!

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